CHURCH. : Church can be defined in the Hebrew as ‘qahal’ and in Greek as ‘ekklesia’. They both are describing a gathering of people or a community. Biblically, the word ‘Church’ is more globally and spiritually defined as the “body of Christ” with Christ as the head or leader and the believers as the members or parts of the body.

HURT. : Webster describes it as a verb; adj and noun and summarizes it as follows; to cause physical pain or harm/injury. The bible described it physical pain, additionally it is referred to as anguish, suffering and distress.

Why did I break up the two words in isolation (Church. Hurt.) I did this because I believe that solo, these two words are whole and also well defined. I wanted to break the two words up because I believe they often get lumped together and don’t create the correct definition. Without the correct definition and description then it can be quite difficult to properly understand, treat and heal a wound. Knowing the source of your hurt is imperative and often times we (those of us the have used the term church hurt) never heal because we can’t properly identify who or what caused the hurt.

From both my education and experience, I' have found that hurt that comes from this source is done by people that you, the hurt party, have often seen or given or been put in positions of power. Now, this isn’t often a person that has a titled position. Sometimes it can be a person of influence by proxy of physical position or even emotional position or access.

The point is that most likely there was an unmet or shattered expectation, need or even their was a violation. This is harmful in any organization or system. It’s also inevitable. If we look at church in the context of the biblical definition then we must see that the members are imperfect people united by a perfect savior. Which means that just as our savior was injured that we may also be injured. The most difficult part is that we often are not expecting these injuries to come from within.

The good news is that reconciliation and forgiveness is possible. The hard news is that for many reasons it doesn’t always happen or takes a long time to happen. Some of the many reasons are that either one or both parties are unrepentant (not willing to change) or their hearts must be changed before change can occur.

What can you do to get help?

You can pray. If prayer seems like a distant and hard step right now then find a safe place to rest and heal. Time is necessary when it comes to wounds (hurts) and even though we think that enough time has passed, sometimes the internal damages are much more grave than what meets the eye. After the anger and shock have subsided then it often reveals the tender parts that need careful tending to.

Counseling from people that care, that are unbiased and that will support your belief system is imperative. You are not alone. There are professionals that have been through what you have been through and have come out of the fire as healthier and more insightful members of the body. It’s hard to keep going but allow your story to continue and your freedom to grow in Christ as it is intended to.